


Talk Pirate To Me

by intothecest



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Dialogue-Only, Double Entendre, Drabble, F/M, International Talk Like A Pirate Day, No Smut, Sibling Incest, Twincest, pinecest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 06:56:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16035284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intothecest/pseuds/intothecest
Summary: Mabel wants to take over the pirate ship.  Dipper sees a few problems with the plan.





	Talk Pirate To Me

“We could _do_ it, Dipper…”

“Mabel…”

“I _know_ it’s dangerous, but we’ve dealt with danger before. Look, it’ll be just like the movies. When he comes back to feed us, _I_ ’ll distract him with my feminine wiles, then you get behind him and conk him on the head with that empty bottle of grog.”

“…feminine wiles?” 

“Are you saying I’m _not_ wiley, Dipper?" 

“No, no… you’re _very_ wiley. Wilier than a coyote.” 

“Darn tootin I am. So, listen, we hit him over the head. Then, once he’s out, we sneak over to the Captain’s Wheel, and push the Pirate King overboard.” 

“Uh-huh… and then what?” 

“Don’t you know the pirate code? Defeat the Pirate King, you take over. I’ll be the Pirate Queen, and you can be my saucy wench…” 

“Saucy wench?” 

“You seem pretty saucy to me.” 

“I’m not being a saucy wench, Mabel.” 

“Fine. We’ll be co-captains. Then, we sail off for parts unknown. We don’t have to come back to the mainland, we can be pirates together. Nobody tells a pirate what to do. We can live like we want. Disregard society’s rules. We can be _TOGETHER_ , Dipper. Openly. Because pirates do that sort of thing. If anybody gives us trouble, I’ll stab them with this sword, make him walk the plank.” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“You don’t think we can pull it off, do you?” 

“Honestly, no.” 

“Why not? Tell me _one_ thing wrong with my plan?” 

“I’ll give you _three_ … for starters, the ship can’t sail anywhere, because it’s not a ship, it’s a pirate-themed restaurant. We’re _miles_ from the nearest body of water. Secondly, that’s not a _sword_ , that’s a _breadstick_. And third, I’m _pretty sure_ the Pirate King is bolted to the floor… there’s no way we could push him over the railing without a crowbar.” 

“Sigh… Dipper, sometimes you’ve got no imagination at all.” 

“Arr, well, if it’s playing pirates ye be wanting, me beauty, then wait till we get back to me cabin, and I’ll treat yer like the Pirate Queen you… Arrrrrr.” 

“Oh, shiver me timbers, Dipper! Keep talking like that and I might even let you bury some treasure…” 

“Mabel… Mabel… foot, _down,_ now… the waiter’s coming back!” 

“Arrr, yer food should be coming up from the galley soon, me hearties… can I get yer a free refill on your drinks?” 

“No thank you.” 

“We’re good.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Written for tumblr for International Talk Like a Pirate Day in 2014. I figured this takes place while the two were in college and living apart from their parents.


End file.
